Lately I’ve been fighting with myself. A part of me is trying to stir up a pot of unwanted shitty memories. It’s been 6 months. Day, night, day, night, day, night, day, night, and so forth. I feel so empty about it. I have so much to say and so much to feel, but I choose not to. I choose to make myself numb. These dreams feel real and the emotions throughout the day because of them feel extremely real. Waking up and being snapped back into reality I think is what hurts most. I’ve tried to put the pieces together myself, but I can’t. it really makes me crazy & makes me doubt myself. I think I need some closure so this stops. 6 months later and I still want to hear you say it. I still want to know why. maybe I need some closure, or maybe I should just sleep. happy birthday douche bag.
Are we so desperate for companionship that we’ll compromise our happiness? Are we afraid to go after what we really deserve? And why don’t we realize this until it’s too late?